Testimony - A pastor's Daughter

Hello, Mrs. Marcia!
I would like to share my testimony with you, so I decided to write you this email.
My name is Camila Martins, I'm 18 years old, my father is a pastor and I’ve been an Assistant for 3 years.

I was 3 years old when my parents began doing the work of God. At the age of 5, I was sexually abused by a relative, who was 10 years old at the time. Around the age of 7, I started having serious spiritual problems. I saw shadows, heard voices, had constant nightmares, always felt nervous and couldn’t relate to the other children at school. Because of all that I did not develop my skills as quickly as the others. My teachers suggested that I go see a psychologist.
 

Besides that, I had health problems as well. I suffered from constant earaches and hair loss. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was causing this and none of the medicine they prescribed solved the problems.

From the age of 13 on, my problems worsened and the traumas from the past came back full force. I started hating God because I blamed Him for my pain and suffering. I hated my relative for abusing me; I felt great anger, disgust and hate towards all men.

I remember an incident where my father and I were leaving the Church and a pastor, who also happened to be a family friend, came to greet us with a hug. When he came close and I smelled his scent, I wanted to vomit. But, I managed to hold it in. Despite being a family friend, a companion of faith and work, I disliked him because he was a man.

At school, I started acting different. I started dressing like a boy, using vulgar language, lying, faking my father’s signature to leave school early and I hated all the boys at school.

When I was in Church, I was completely different. I dressed properly and was well behaved, but I didn’t like attending Church meetings, especially on Friday.

I had so much hate built up inside and I no longer cared. One Sunday, during the meeting, while the pastor was seeking the Holy Spirit, I crossed my arms and kept my eyes open. After the meeting, an Assistant came over and spoke to me. She said that I had to accept Jesus and that I shouldn’t wait to hit rock bottom to seek Him.
 

I simply got up, turned my back to her and walked away. From that moment on, my life went completely downhill. The trauma I thought I had already buried in the past became a reality.

From one week to the next, my attitude changed and I decided to approach the older boys at school. I wanted to be just like them: the way they spoke, acted and dressed. I joined the school soccer team and started having feelings for a girl.
 

The only reason I never had a relationship with her was because I was scared the UCKG would find out and remove my parents from doing the work of God. That was my train of thought; I wasn’t worried because it was an abomination to God.

One day, that same girl introduced me to her god and explained that if I served him, he would give me everything I asked for. I knew she was talking about the devil, but even then, I began to follow her advice and I even ended up asking him for something. I hated this guy from school (I hated everyone, for that matter), so I asked the devil to make him have a motorcycle accident and break his right leg. Said and done, it happened the very next day.
Even the kids at school said that I needed God in my life, but I always replied: "I don’t need that guy. If He wants my life, He is going to have to prove that He’s actually good."

Time passed and I became addicted to pornography – movies, magazines, internet, etc. I masturbated every day. And the fact that I started asking the devil for favors began to weigh heavy on my shoulders. Demons started visiting me every night and abused me. It was horrible and it wasn’t only one, there were many because it lasted a long time and this would go on several times throughout the night.
 

I couldn’t see them, but I felt them. It was as though a man was on top of me and I couldn’t react or yell out for help. I felt depressed, nervous and cried all the time, but I never told anyone, not even my parents.
 

I knew God could help me get out of this situation, but the hate I carried inside was so great that it wouldn’t allow me to surrender my life God. I was in a sad situation.

However, one day as I was going to bed, knowing that they would come and abuse me again, I began crying. I was so tired of that whole situation. As I lay in bed, I remembered the Assistant coming over to speak to me and what she had said. I cried out the name of Jesus, I cried like a child and implored Jesus to save me.

That day, I was able to sleep in peace. It still took me a while after this happened to acknowledge that Jesus was the only One powerful enough to save me. Two months later, we were transferred to another Church and that’s when I decided to truly surrender my life to Jesus. I started going to church every day. I sought my deliverance, I sought the Holy Spirit without fear or shame of what the other pastors’ children or Assistants would say...

In four months, I was delivered and baptized with the Holy Spirit. I understood that the Spirit of God was the guarantee that I would never fall away from the faith again. But, in order to receive the Holy Spirit I had to do something that seemed impossible: forgive!
I was able to forgive the young man that abused me and all the other people I harbored so much hate against. That’s when I received the Holy Spirit and everything changed!

I am a new person. I'm no longer nervous all the time or rebellious. I don’t have any sicknesses, nor do past traumas affect my life in the present or future. I have no fears, grief or sadness. I no longer need pornography or masturbation to fill the void I had inside. Demons no longer visit me at night to abuse me. Now, I can help those who are suffering just like I was suffering.

Today, I can help other pastor’s children who are suffering in a world of promiscuity, addiction, homosexuality and are unable to break free; Assistants, who are women of God, but suffer because of a past trauma and although they have been reborn, it’s still too much for them to handle.

Mrs. Marcia it is very important that we come to these people’s rescue because many pastor’s children are suffering alone. Their parents don’t even imagine what they are going through, just like mine didn’t know either.

Today, I can sincerely say that there is nothing more important than having your life in the hands of God. The love of a father, mother, sibling or loved one can never compare to the love of Jesus!
 

Kisses
May God bless you more and more!

Collaboration: Marcia Panceiro